SEX

This message to save yourself for marriage and that marriage should always involve love is the main contributor to sexual shame. This sexual shame leads to SO many more problems then possible regret for having sex with someone impulsively. This idealization that sex is this sacred and pure thing and CANNOT be anything else is using fear and shame to judge and control people's private sex lives. This is why so many people are so fucked up around sex. Because they are uneducated and are not aware that a lot of us are just very perverted and highly sexual in nature and that this should not be demonized. So many people suffer because they have weird sexual fantasies or fetishes and are made to feel like they are broken and somehow sinful or even sick and in need of treatment for these "awful thoughts". This is mostly religious uneducated doctrine used to control people. If you want to use the excuse that we only have sex to have children and this sex should be sacred, you should look back in history and see that for thousands of years we were anything BUT monogamous. If you want to use evolutionary psychology to support religious beliefs surrounding sex, then you're going to have to include men being allowed to screw tons of women in order to spread their seed. Marriage and monogamy is the OPPOSITE of natural. So that argument is out the window. The fact is everyone is different and for some people it  makes them much happier to not be tied down and their shame comes from others telling them they shouldn't enjoy casual sex. Yes, some regret impulsive sexual decisions, but it is a very minor issue in the grand scheme of things as compared to the damage that forcing and proselytizing monogamy and chastity does to all the people who would be much happier just having sex and enjoying their lives. Sex doesn't have to be loving and emotional and a Disney movie all the time. It's even OK if sex is NEVER that! There are incredibly loving and amazing couples who have rough and animalistic sex EVERY time they have sex and there's nothing wrong with that! This religious bullshit is what made me miserable my whole life feeling like a freak because I wasn't "wholesome". It wasn't until I saw a CERTIFIED sex therapist that I educated myself and yes, EMPOWERED myself to be ok with who I was and what turned me on. Now my sex life is better than ever with my GF who I am in love with and have an amazing relationship with. There are so many broken sexless marriages out there and so many people who cheat because of this pressure to be perfect. It actually HELPED curb my curiosity of other women when I accepted that is part of my biology : to be attracted to other women. Now it is a joke and is lighthearted and not this huge guillotine over my head threatening to chop it off if I even think about someone other than my gf. I am able to be faithful to her BECAUSE I am ok with my attraction to other women. When you repress and deny it and turn it into something impure and sinful, it makes  it a forbidden fruit and MUCH more likely you will cheat. 

 

Sincerely,


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